This Bipolar World

I seem to live in a world of extreme opposites. When things are good they are very very good and when they are bad they are horrid. Dammit. It's like my head is bouncing backwards and forwards between tennis rackets.

Have a car. poof! badness

Have a degree. poof! badness

Have a big check. poof! badness

I don't know how much more of this I can take. Will someone just sort out the mess that has become of my life for me? I don't have the energy or desire to deal with it anymore. There are too many things to do and no motivation to do any of them. It's like I don't deserve to be happy for more than five seconds. "Oh look, Kirstin's marginally contented, well, we'll just take care of that then won't we"

Ahhh

A Free Day

When was the last time I had a totally free day, a day with neither work nor school nor many papers to write? I honestly can't remember. It's been at least a year, really. Is that pathetic? I'm thinking yes.

Today was my first free day thanks to a class cancellation. I was still relatively productive, writing out possible answers for an exam I'm going to take tomorrow and such, but largely I just did loungy things, and can I just say how lovely it was. I had the opportunity to just sit and breathe a little bit, read something fun, play on my laptop. It's a relief. I'm sure it won't happen again for another year so I'll enjoy it while I can. Soaking in this single stress free day.

I'm sure I'll get to be stressed tomorrow when I get the comments on my thesis draft back. I'm just choosing not to think about it right now because I could surely start freaking out about it. I choose not to stress, I'll do it tomorrow and through the weekend if absolutely necessary, but now I'll basque in the calm.